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It's the New Year! Time to once again "Start the new year out right".
Are you determined to lose weight, save money, have a better marriage, find
Mrs. Right, be more assertive, ask for the raise, find a new job, begin
to be more organized, be more positive and spend more time with our kids
all by Jan 31st?
NO? Come on, those are realistic resolutions, aren't they? The funny thing
is, most people think that making these changes all at once is realistic
and possible! A few are possible, but the whole list?
When I hear my clients tell me their resolutions, I always ask them…"What's
making you want to make those changes?" "What has prevented you
from accomplishing them BEFORE the New Year?" "Do you have a PLAN
for making the changes happen?"
A Plan? What? Most people feel sheer willpower will help them get through
anything. They wake up January 1st and say to themselves "Today is
the day I change!" and "Proof" the miraculous change has
occurred! Sure, it will occur for many, for a while…3 days, 4 weeks,
2 months and then their "will" seems to diminish and their resolutions
end up on on next year's list to go through the same viscous cycle once
again.
How can you make this year different? One way is to take a step back and
really analyze your list of resolutions. What is truly realistic for you
right now, at this time in your life? Once you identify what is realistic,
rid yourself of the word "TRY" from your vocabulary. If you begin
a resolution with "I am going to TRY to lose 10 pounds this year"
You are automatically giving yourself an out. "If it doesn't work out,
it is okay, it really wasn't meant to be" is automatically giving yourself
permission to fail. Losing those 10 pounds is obviously bothering you, making
your life less fulfilling, or it wouldn't be on the list of things to change!
When you say "Well, at least I tried", ask what does "trying"
mean to you? I work on this specific issue with my clients and help them
change the word "try" into "I will " until it becomes
automatic. It takes practice, however using this strategy will eventually
permanently STOP the awful "resolution failure cycle." YOU can
do the same thing!
Let me explain how the removal of "try" can work for you. Begin
by omitting it out of your vocabulary and replace "try" with "I
will". This strategy will set you up for a POSITIVE, conscious start,
rather than giving yourself unconscious permission to fail.
Let's say you begin a resolution where you want to spend more time with
your children. What sounds better…"I will TRY to spend more time
with my children this year", or " I WILL spend more time with
my children this year." Doesn't the latter sound more positive? Now,
of course, I don't want you to beat yourself up if you find yourself slipping,
just realizing that it IS possible to change and that you will simply need
to find another way to accomplish your goal.
When analyzing your resolutions, ask yourself some of these important questions:
Do I have too many resolutions on my list
to accomplish all at once?
Are my resolutions actually realistic
for me during this time in my life?
Where do I see potential roadblocks that
might make creating change in my life challenging? Are my roadblocks work,
family, personal, health and transportation?
. What type of plan can I make for myself
to avoid these roadblocks?
. In my planning, what resources and support
do I need?
While making your plan, think about how it will feel to fail at accomplishing
your resolutions. Are you looking forward to the feeling of pain, failure,
disappointment, frustration?
Now, think about how GREAT it will feel when you have followed through with
your resolution! What is the outcome? How happy are you? How do you carry
yourself? Is your self-esteem improved? Has your change POSITIVELY influenced
others around you?
Put pen to paper and in a journal, write a paragraph to yourself about how
you would feel as if you had already conquered your resolution! Again, focusing
on how great you feel, how happy you are, how your surroundings have changed!
How it has made your life better?
Once you have gone through these questions and exercises, you should feel
much better about how to approach your resolutions this year and have the
beginnings of a plan on how to get what you want.
The New Year has 365 days in it, so it is NEVER to late to make that change!
The calendar is only full of days and numbers…your life is full of
memories, love, peace and joy…make each moment count. Make TODAY be
the start of what you truly want your life to look and feel like. You CAN
do it!
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